


when lonely hits your heart

by agentmmayy



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I Made Myself Cry, I'm Sorry, Tumblr Prompt, You Have Been Warned, pure unadaulterated angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-13 05:56:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16011680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agentmmayy/pseuds/agentmmayy
Summary: When Melinda returns to the Lighthouse without Coulson, she sets out to find Daisy to offer some comfort. Set post s5





	when lonely hits your heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [marvelthismarvelthat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/marvelthismarvelthat/gifts).



> For Alina who prompted me on Tumblr: platonic!maydaisy + “You’re not alone.” + “I won’t lose you too.” Thanks for the prompt friend!
> 
> I guess this is me finally fleshing out my feels from the s5 finale and the unknown about Coulson's impending death??? Anyway, Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Also, fair warning: i sobbed while writing this

The halls of the Zephyr were quiet with only the white noise of the engines softly humming beneath the floors. Everyone else was further in the base, tucked in their rooms in the Lighthouse, but it didn’t mean they were asleep.

No one on the team had slept in the past few days following May’s return without Coulson.

They were all still reeling from the events of the prior months and were now dealing with the burden of losing a team member, the heart of the team.

Everyone dealt with grief in different ways.

Mack threw himself into work, hardly taking breaks to eat and only did so when Elena practically dragged him out of his office. Fitz and Jemma had packed their belongings and were planning to leave for Scotland in the morning. Davis and Piper were unusually quiet, no longer goofing around as they went about their daily routine or sharing stories.

Melinda, well, she had dealt with the grief of losing a loved one before, but losing Phil was a pain sharper than she had expected.

It was overwhelming at times, especially when she would roll over in bed and reach out for him only to grasp air, or glance to her side, expecting to see him standing there.

But, Melinda kept pushing forward- she had to for Daisy.

Like the others, Daisy had withdrawn, but according to Mack, she had done so even before Melinda returned. She had become quiet, avoiding everyone. The others hardly saw Daisy outside of her brief visits to the kitchen and the Zephyr. Melinda had seen Daisy after she had come back, but only a brief glimpse as the girl had taken one look at her, walking down the ramp of the quinjet without Coulson at her side, before fleeing. Melinda needed to see her now.

Melinda purposefully made her footsteps heavier as she neared the cabin.

She knew she couldn’t spook Daisy by accidentally sneaking up on her; the girl could sense her vibrations, but Melinda was giving her a choice. She wouldn’t talk to Daisy if the girl wasn’t ready, but Melinda couldn’t handle not seeing her for any longer.

Daisy gave no indication she heard her though Melinda knew she did.

Daisy was sitting in one of the seats, facing the cockpit with her legs uncomfortably slung over the side of the chair. Her arms were crossed, supporting her torso as she leaned back, head tilted awkwardly and facing straight ahead.

When Melinda followed her gaze, she realized Daisy was staring at the plaque mounted just above the cockpit.

What was left of her heart broke.

But, Melinda held it together. She walked a few more inches in, standing just at the edge of the set of seats Daisy was sitting out on.

Melinda’s voice was a stark contrast to the quiet of the room. “It’s late.”

At first, Daisy didn’t respond. The few seconds of silence between the two women seemed to stretch for eternity. But then, Daisy shifted and replied, “Can’t sleep.”

Her voice was thick, indicating she had spent a good portion of the day, if not week, crying. The thought of Daisy locked away in her room, dealing with her grief alone hurt almost as much as the burden on Melinda’s shoulders.

“Me either,” Melinda agreed, walking in closer to sit beside Daisy.

She gingerly lowered herself onto the seat, feeling the coolness of the metal through her leggings. A slight shiver ran up Melinda’s spine as she shifted on the seat, adjusting to find the most comfortable position for her leg.

Meanwhile, Daisy hadn’t moved and only remained gazing at the plaque.

For once, she didn’t begin talking. It was unnerving. If Phil were there, he would be talking, filling the still silence with a story or comforting words, but he wasn’t there, and the silence hung about the two women in thick shrouds, blending in with the dimly lit cabin.

Daisy’s voice was a mere whisper when she spoke. “I never knew it could feel so empty in here.”

The Zephyr was always so full of life with agents bustling about, orders being yelled, and jokes and laughter being shared. Now, the only life it saw these days was the despondent agents that went about their duties almost robotically.

“It isn’t much better back there,” Melinda said, referring to the Lighthouse. The hallways in the base were always eerily silent but groaned occasionally as if they too were grieving.

“Is-“ Daisy asked, now looking at her knees. Her fingers pulled at a loose thread on her sweatpants. “How are the others?”

Melinda wasn’t going to beat around the bush, she never did. “Not much better.” She watched as Daisy nodded, wiping at her eyes. “How about you?”

She was prepared to see Daisy’s shoulders tense at the question. Melinda had done the same when the others asked her the question or anything along those lines. No one was doing well, but it was clear her and Daisy had taken the brunt of the pain Phil’s death left behind.

It was harder for Daisy though. Melinda had dealt with losing Phil before, but Daisy hadn’t.

Even though her nonverbal answer was clear enough, Daisy shifted, now sitting facing the wall Melinda was facing. With the new angle, Melinda could see tear tracks glistening on Daisy’s cheeks.

“I feel so alone,” Daisy admitted softly. “Elena and I have drifted apart, Jemma and I aren’t on speaking terms, and,” her voice cracked. “I can’t even look at Fitz without remembering him cutting me open.”

“You’re not alone,” Melinda said immediately, reaching to place her hand on Daisy’s knee. “I’m here.”

Wide, teary brown eyes searched hers before Daisy dove into Melinda’s arms. Melinda welcomed her without a second thought, wrapping her arms around Daisy as the girl cried against her. Melinda held Daisy tight as sobs shook her body and repressed the urge to join her.

“I won’t lose you too,” Daisy sobbed. Her knuckles turned white with the grip she had on Melinda’s shirt. “I _can’t_.”

“You won’t,” Melinda promised.

She couldn’t lose Daisy. Not ever but especially not now when Daisy was all she had left.

Phil and Daisy were the two people that meant the most to her, but she had lost Phil. Daisy was all she had left of him aside from memories and his collectibles. Melinda had promised Phil to take care of Daisy. He had insisted it with one of his last breaths, squeezing her hand with a final surge of strength.

“You don’t know that,” Daisy protested, pulling back to look at Melinda.

There was pure fear in her eyes under the layers of heartbreak. All Daisy had known since she was younger was losing people after getting close to them. One of her biggest fears was abandonment, and it was looming over her.

“What if-“

“I’m not going anywhere,” Melinda insisted, feeling the tears she had been holding back prick at the corners of her eyes. She pulled Daisy back to her, holding her tighter than before as if her embrace could mend all the broken pieces inside of Daisy who had mended hers. “I’m staying right here with you.”

“I’m not leaving you either,” Daisy said, snuggling closer to Melinda. “Coulson wouldn’t want me to.”

Hearing his name spoken with heavy tones of burden hurt Melinda even more. She had heard Phil’s name come out of people’s mouths the same way after New York when Maria had first broken the news to her, and at his funeral.

Hearing it from Daisy’s mouth, though, for once without pure admiration and devotion was like being doused with cold water.

But, no matter how much Melinda wanted to cry until she could no longer produce tears, she didn’t. Instead, she tried to lighten their sorrow, much like Phil would have if he had been with them, and as he had multiple times.

“He always used to hit his head there,” Melinda spoke, nodding to where the plaque was mounted. “Every time he went in or out.”

Against her chest, Daisy snorted.

She remembered the rides in the plane where Coulson would check in on May who was in the cockpit, say something corny to make May roll her eyes, and then immediately hit his head upon ducking out. He would always glare at both Daisy and May as they laughed at him, but eventually would join in.

Now, though, Daisy would never hear the familiar thud followed up by an exasperated curse.

She couldn’t tease Coulson anymore for the way he lovingly ran his hand against nearly every surface of the Zephyr or showed the cloaking device off. Daisy would no longer listen to his rambling about the durability of the containment unit or the accuracy of the advanced technology. She wouldn’t get to see Coulson light up each time someone asked a question about the plane.

“He really loved his new toy,” she whispered.

Melinda nodded but squeezed Daisy’s shoulders. “Not as much as he loved you.”

Daisy’s lips trembled. She was silent for a few moments, leaning into Melinda as she composed herself enough to swallow and ask, “How-?”

“Peacefully,” Melinda told her, even though with every word it felt like someone was stabbing her chest with multiple needles. “We were sitting on the back porch watching the sunset. I think he knew it was time.”

Phil had glanced over to her and squeezed her hand, a soft smile on his face that didn’t quite reach the sadness in his eyes. At that moment, laying there with the love of her life in paradise, Melinda knew it was the last time she would see that smile.

“He told me he loved me,” Melinda whispered, her voice breaking. Here with Daisy, there were no more walls she could put up. “And that he would always regret not telling me sooner.”

Daisy was crying once more, silent tears dripping down her cheeks as she listened to Melinda. Melinda smiled softly at her, reaching a hand up to cup Daisy’s cheek. She caught a few tears on her thumb and wiped them away.

“He also asked me to take care of you,” Melinda told her. “And to remind you that he loved you, even though I told him you’d never forget.”

That was all it took for the dam to break. Daisy began sobbing in earnest, soft, broken cries that tore straight to Melinda’s soul. Without hesitation, Melinda pulled Daisy to her, holding the girl close as she cried once more.

Now, Daisy was halfway into Melinda’s lap, putting pressure onto her still healing leg, but Melinda didn’t care. What mattered was comforting Daisy. Melinda began to slowly rock the two of them on the chairs like her own mother had done when she was younger. It was for Daisy, Melinda told herself, but deep-down Melinda knew the attempts to soothe were for her too.

“I miss him,” Daisy sobbed. “I miss him _so_ _much_.”

The words _me too_ became stuck in Melinda’s throat. She could only nod instead, not just from the sudden rush of emotions, but also because there really weren’t any words that could describe how much she missed Phil.

The first few hours without him, Melinda was numbed, moving only to wipe the tears that steadily flowed down her cheeks. She had held onto Phil’s hand for hours, sitting there as both his skin and the night turned cold.

The next few days after that, Melinda felt as if she was an empty shell walking around as she prepared the arrangements for his body and her return home, reminiscent of herself right after Bahrain. Phil’s absence after spending nearly every day with him for years was unnerving and only reminded Melinda of what she had lost. She had just lost her best friend, her lover, her soulmate.

The inevitable pain Melinda had experienced leading up to his death grew so overwhelming she could hardly handle it. The only thing that helped her to cope was the thought of returning to her team, to Daisy.

Against her, Daisy’s sobs had slowly tapered off into teary hiccups.

“I finally read the letter he left me,” Daisy said, sniffling. Taking her hands from Melinda’s shirt, she wiped at her eyes. “Earlier today, that’s why I-“ she glanced behind her to the plaque. “I wanted to feel close to him, somehow.”

Melinda remained silent, allowing Daisy to talk as she sensed there was more the girl wanted to say. Even though her words stopped, Melinda’s hands kept moving, fingers running through Daisy’s hair as the girl tried to catch her breath and collect her thoughts.

“He wrote about how he considered me his daughter,” Daisy’s voice cracked but she cleared it with a practiced ease that could only come with a full day of crying. “And how proud he was of me.” She scoffed, wiping at her nose. “Don’t know why.”

“Hey.” Melinda’s tone was sterner than before. She tilted Daisy’s chin to her so that they could be face to face. “He had every reason to be proud of you,” she said. “You were everything, and more he hoped for in a daughter.”

Daisy’s smile was pained, reflecting the sorrow in her eyes. “That’s what he said.”

“A rare time he was right,” Melinda joked lightly. She brought Daisy back closer to her, needing to feel how Daisy was with her, warm and alive. Even though the girl was done crying, Melinda continued rocking.

“He also told me to take care of you,” Daisy told her, her voice now stronger. She wrapped her arms around Melinda’s waist, tucking herself closer to the woman. “And I’m going to whether you like it or not.”

Melinda breathed out a soft laugh. She brushed the backs of two fingers across Daisy’s cheek, murmuring, “I’m more than okay with that.”

Once again, silence filled the cabin, but this time, it wasn’t uncomfortable. In fact, it was soothing, to hear the engines that Phil loved so dearly rumble beneath them.

“When I-“ Melinda began but paused and started over. Even after all these years she still had trouble talking about it. “After Bahrain when I couldn’t sleep, my mother used to make me tea.”

Daisy shifted so she could rest her cheek on Melinda’s chest but still look up at her. “Did it work?”

Melinda wasn’t going to lie to her. “It helped.”

Though the hot drink didn’t erase the nightmares Melinda had or the grief she drank it with, the thought of someone caring and making it for her, sitting with her while she drank it was what helped Melinda begin to heal. Time and time again Melinda found herself going back to her stash of tea and making a cup late at night when the weight on her shoulders and in her chest was too much to handle. She had wanted to share the special moment with Daisy for some time and now was it.

“Tea sounds good,” Daisy murmured. “But I don’t think there’s any in the kitchen aside from Simmons’ personal stash.”

“I have some.” Melinda didn’t add that the tea she had was currently in her pocket. Two tea bags were in there specifically, but also the hope that Daisy would drink it with her.

Daisy peeked up at her once more. “Really?”

Melinda nodded, expecting Daisy to let go so they could both get up and make their way to the kitchen, but Daisy didn’t move. In fact, she held onto Melinda tighter.

“If you want to drink it, then you have to let me up.”

“Mm,” Daisy pretended to consider this before she shook her head, burrowing further into Melinda’s side. “Nope.”

“Come on,” Melinda urged gently, patting Daisy’s back. “Up. My leg is starting to hurt.”

Daisy pulled away immediately, face drawn in worry. Melinda regretted her words instantly. Daisy had just lost one parent, and Melinda joking about her age and pain wasn’t going to help Daisy believe her words that she wasn’t going to leave her anytime soon.

But then, Daisy smirked. “Old lady.”

“Who’s fixing your tea now?” Melinda asked as she pushed up from the chair, sighing as blood rushed back to her thigh. Even after healing and weeks of therapy it wasn’t the same and would never be.

“Come on,” Daisy said as she stood as well. “I can at least boil water.”

“There’s more to it than that.”

Daisy scoffed. “Sure. Just don’t burn the kitchen down this time, okay?”

Melinda rolled her eyes, moving to walk down the few steps leading up to the cabin, but a hand on her arm stopped her. When she turned around, Daisy was chewing on her lip almost nervously. “Daisy?”

“I just-“ Daisy began but stopped. She glanced down at the floor then back to Melinda. When she did, Melinda could see a fresh sheen of tears glistening in Daisy’s eyes. “Thanks for coming back.”

“I’ll always come back to you,” Melinda said, meaning every word. Her voice caught on her next words, “He would too if he could.”

A stray tear slipped down Daisy’s cheek before she hastily wiped it away, moving down the steps and to Melinda’s side. “Alright, let’s go get that tea. I haven’t slept for days.”

Rolling her eyes fondly, Melinda went to follow Daisy as the girl began to walk out, but she turned around to look once more at the plaque.

It was a stretch to imagine Phil there with her, but Melinda couldn’t help the longing she felt at the sight of his name.

“May?”

“Coming,” Melinda answered. She gave one last glance to the plaque before following Daisy out of the cabin, feeling lighter than she had in days.

Behind them in the now empty cabin, the plaque still sat, looking over the space. When a stray beam of light caught on the front windows, the grooves in the engraved letters shone in the dim lighting, casting shadows onto the chairs where the two had sat.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! you can come scream at me for this or even prompt me on tumblr where I am also agentmmayy :)


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